Our story starts the day we found out we were pregnant. We had been trying for months and couldn’t wait to get a positive sign on the pregnancy test. Sure enough we got in August 2011!! We planned and planned for our bundle of joy’s arrival! We found out we were having a girl at 19 weeks along! At 24 weeks along, (December 17th, 2011) our world came crashing down… My water broke and we were rushed to Abbott Northwestern where hopefully, they could keep me pregnant longer. 4 days later though, contractions came fast and I was fully dilated. Our baby girl was coming whether we were ready or not and so they performed an emergency c-section while I was put under. She was breach, so we knew it would be a c-section. We met her after recovery and instantly fell in love. She was beautiful and perfect in every way!!!!!!! We had so much hope that everything would be okay. But our crushed world crumbled more. Our precious daughter whom we named Abigale Tera, had stage 4 brain bleed with bleeding in both ventricles. We found out that is common with preemies because their blood vessels are so fragile. How could this happen?! Our perfect baby girl, we just met her and already have to make the decision of continuing medical therapy or taking her off the ventilators due to her not having the good quality of life she deserved. We both agreed we felt it was best to take her off the ventilators because it wouldn’t be fair to her to have to be trapped in her own body. No parent should ever have to make that decision for their child 🙁 It was the most horrible day ever. December 26th, 2011, 5 days after she was born, our precious daughter grew her wings while in our arms. There is not a day that goes by that we don’t think about her, miss her, love her. It hurts our hearts and we feel a huge hole in our hearts. It’s not fair at all. We just don’t get why this happened. We both are going to make sure her memory will forever live through us. We miss you and love you Abby!!!
Going to Faith’s Lodge helped us both so much. We met 7 other couples who knew our pain and hurt. We were able to relate to them and it was comforting that we weren’t alone. There were great activities we got to do in remembrance of our precious Abby and it also helped because it was a chance to get to know everyone. We had been going to a grief counselor before coming to Faith’s Lodge and that helped a lot too, but actually meeting others who feel the same way you do, who struggle every day like you do, was a different kind of help we needed. It also gave us hope. I would recommend going to Faith’s Lodge to anyone who has lost a child. It’s a place you wish didn’t have to exist. But it does and it’s a great place to go to help the healing process. I still think about our time there and how peaceful it was. And all of us that were there that weekend have stayed in touch. Thank you Faith’s Lodge for helping us meet others and for showing us there is hope.