Samuel Evan, our little love

We found out we were pregnant with our first baby in September of 2011. We were overjoyed! We quickly started making a place for a precious little one in our home and hearts. At our first doctors appointment, we were able to see our little one bouncing around and even waving hello. We knew we would love our baby forever. Then, at our 15 week appointment, our dreams were dashed when it was discovered that our sweet little baby had a fatal condition called Posterior Urethral Valves (PUV). This condition, that happens in 1 in 8000 male pregnancies, is completely unpreventable and has no known cause. We were told, “It just happens sometimes”. PUV is a blockage in the urinary tract that causes a backup in the kidneys and bladder. It also causes the fatal lack of amniotic fluid needed for lung development. We were told he could not live with this condition and we were advised to terminate the pregnancy. Obviously, we would never end our sons life, so we carried him with faith and love for as long as we could. At 35 weeks, much longer than we were told he would survive, after a very long labor and an emergency c-section, he was born into this world on April 14th, 2012. He lived for four hours and went to be with Jesus with his daddy by his side. (Sadly, I was not able to be with him since he had to be transported to another hospital and, due to my c-section, I was unable to go with him). It breaks my heart that I couldn’t be with him, but I know my husband gave Samuel enough love for both of us. Now, we are trying to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts and dreams. We are trying to figure out how to live without our very loved and very wanted little guy. If you’d like to read the full story, you can find it on my blog, Nothing Without You, at http://imnotingwithoutyou.blogspot.com/.